


Sisterhood of Evil Homeowners

by Probably_not_related_to_Temujin



Category: X-Men (Comicverse)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-22
Updated: 2020-12-22
Packaged: 2021-03-10 20:40:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 972
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28243293
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Probably_not_related_to_Temujin/pseuds/Probably_not_related_to_Temujin
Summary: Its Christmas time and Mystique and Destiny are partying in the heartland.
Relationships: Irene Adler (X-Men)/Raven | Mystique
Comments: 1
Kudos: 2





	Sisterhood of Evil Homeowners

“You can be anyone you want at Alice’s Restaraunt.”

Despite the singing, there was a lot left unsaid to the 900 block of Olney. Destiny and Mystique were sitting in a loveseat with bad springs, sinking into each other. Implications were allowed to waft into the air and if someone said they were just good friends, well everybody lies. Like say to a real estate agent, or a bank. Lies can get you a 2 story for a nice price where no one cares to be. They can also get you roped into hosting a christmas party. Live by the sword, drink by the sword.

Mystique was Gloria at the time and also drunk. Which was more the performance was up in the air. A soft red was as good as water to Mystique, so her off key nonsense was probably not obligatory. Gloria was kinda like Cheryl but Cheryl had red hair and press ons. Gloria had auburn curls and a nail biting habit. Destiny was Destiny but a little less tired and a little happy. There was a christmas tree closing her high collar. Very festive. Everybody else were midwesterners, they ate the food. Some even talked.

In the corner into the dining room (where the food is) was David Zimmer. If you haven’t met Dave, you have. He’s got paint spackled jeans, a carhart jacket, and an FOH hat. He’s talking kindly about landlords, recidivism and everything that wasn’t explicitly blood and soil. The chump that he’s got cornered is a little younger, a little more hair, a little less smell. Could be him soon enough. There’s about 3 other people just like him scarfing food down. It’s important to keep track, because racists ruin bathrooms.

Also, its important to make sure guests are entertained or entertaining. Walter was usually 3 doors down but at the moment he was just on the other side of the coffee table. Very much the man with a set of allen wrenches and a blender. He was dwarfing the dining room chair he slouched in. The corn chips and bean dip on his plate were mostly demolished. The heineken was empty and condensating on the zebrano veneer. Every once and a while his eyes would dart towards Gloria turning to clay red in the light. His thumb was flicking his finger and against the dark brown of his flesh, there was a little tiny spark.

“He’s SHYYY” Mystique slurred loudly into Destiny’s ear.

“He’s fine.”

“He’s okay.” Walter sighed letting the beer into his shoulders and mind.

“At least try the wings.”

“Yeah thats a plan.”

“I’m going to the bathroom Destiny. I’m going to take A PI-”

“okay!” She could hear Destiny redden.

On the way up the stairs, it occurred to Mystique that 2 bathrooms was actually a great feature that her house should have. It was also surprisingly thought intensive to walk up the stairs. There were 2 people waiting at the top of the stairs and Dave. Dave had himself a beer and a glock. In her god damn house.

“Can I talk to you somewhere private?” Dave’s red goatee and jowls made the appearance of a mouthpiece; reactionary howdy doodie that got cruel.

“For you Dave sure. I gotta pump out the basement anyways.”

The basement stairs creaked under the weight of doc martens and they hated the red wings. She switched the light on. She found the plug quickly enough and from the pit, the pump sloshed to life. It was thirsty and screaming for water.

“I think its already done”

“Give it a second.”

“Okay so Walter.”

“Yeah.”

“You saw it right?”

“He’s a mutant.”

“He’s a god damn firefly Gloria, he could start a fire at any minute, drive down the property value. And you know once you have mutants, suddenly drug dealers.”

“So what are we doing here?”

“We gotta remove him.”

“We?”

“Me, Ron, you and your… roommate. I think if y’all just keep him occupied until 2, I’ll just drive up in my truck, put a 20 pounder on his head. Boom done.”

“Dave. Oh Dave.”

Her shoulders unclenched and poured a dark blue flesh. Her arms broke and corrected. Her legs braced the ground like she was going to throw a punch. The blue flesh surged down her ankles. Where once there was a tan mohair sweater with the white outline of a reindeer, there was a bright white dress, a belt of skulls replacing the waistline of her sag harbor jeans.

“What the hell are you?”

In the commotion, a bit of wine came up her esophagus and mixed with velvetta that was on her teeth. There was a bump on top of a folded towel. She tossed it in the air and revealed a colt .25. The colt came into her hand as the towel fell back to the folding table. It was leveled at him, almost as if she spent a good hour a day practicing this bar trick when she was supposed to be folding clothes.

“Yeah, no.”

She pulled, her hand was where it was supposed to be and Dave’s head had an important hole in it.

It wasn’t too long before Gloria was traipsing back up to the love seat, letting the alcohol back in.

“What’s Walter doing?” Gloria asked Destiny in a tiny voice.

“Walter is fixing the sound on the tv.”

“The sound is fine.”

“The sound is horrible, you just didn’t want to wire up the sound bar.”

There was a pause.

“I would have liked to stay here for a while.”

“We can.”

“They’ll find him.”

“They’ll find him later. Somewhere else.”

“I’d like to stay”

“Hey um do we think we could...”

“We are not adopting Walter. We’ve had enough strays.”

“Never enough.”

“Also, please stop peeing in the basement.”


End file.
